whisper
no
can't be
hoax
movie clip
not
true
bodies
people
souls
falling
from planes
from clouds
no clouds
no net
no chance
sirens
screams
disbelief
horror
muffled
in
black
thick
endless
smoke
dust
rubble
looking
looking
looking
never
stop
looking
hoping
a miracle
just one
selfish
don't care
find
him
her
mine
now
please
done now
silent
hope
gone
angry
still
love
always
forever
endless
never
forget
never
whisper
why?
Monday, September 11, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Flashback
She’s gone
He whispers to himself
The fear a tight ball in his stomach
The chill erasing his senses
He calls
She doesn’t answer
She always answers
Always
He waits
Hoping she’ll call back
Did he forget?
Did she tell him?
Where can she be?
Panic rising in his throat
Heart racing to its own beat
Cold sweat breaking out
Can this be?
Must it be?
Is it happening?
Again?
Flashbacks
Ghostly memories
Eleven years has passed
It seems like yesterday
She was here
She was fine
So he thought
He was wrong
She’s gone
He whispers
She’s gone
The phone rings…
He whispers to himself
The fear a tight ball in his stomach
The chill erasing his senses
He calls
She doesn’t answer
She always answers
Always
He waits
Hoping she’ll call back
Did he forget?
Did she tell him?
Where can she be?
Panic rising in his throat
Heart racing to its own beat
Cold sweat breaking out
Can this be?
Must it be?
Is it happening?
Again?
Flashbacks
Ghostly memories
Eleven years has passed
It seems like yesterday
She was here
She was fine
So he thought
He was wrong
She’s gone
He whispers
She’s gone
The phone rings…
Monday, January 09, 2006
i hate like love me
a friend reminded me today of what a leap in time i have made over the past twenty-five years. a leap between hating myself to liking myself to loving myself. i give the biggest share of the credit for this to my loving husband. he saw a goodness and a beauty and a spirit in me from the beginning that i could never see and nurtured it into the woman i am today.
in the beginning, a compliment would send me spinning into a beet-red tunnel of confusion. i would shake my head and think "what? are you nuts?" and words slid into my mind from voices long ago "stupid" "liar" "ugly". how could anyone think otherwise?
as time went on i began to see that i wasn't as bad as they said i was, but a compliment was still difficult to handle. i would begin to think that they wouldn't be saying those things if they really knew me. i was an imposter. they would find out soon enough and be gone. it happened enough times i could believe it.
finally, my husband convinced me that it wasn't me, but them. i wasn't the problem, they were. they were the ones with the misconceptions. they were the ones that beat me down day after day, year after year, word after word. whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" was never a verbally abused kid. the pain from the beating with a fist always lasted less time than the carefully aimed word.
it's been a long time coming, but i'm almost there. i can value myself as a human being from the viewpoint of my husband, my children, and even my animals. i hope in time my friend will feel that value, too. she should. she truly is a beautiful human being.
in the beginning, a compliment would send me spinning into a beet-red tunnel of confusion. i would shake my head and think "what? are you nuts?" and words slid into my mind from voices long ago "stupid" "liar" "ugly". how could anyone think otherwise?
as time went on i began to see that i wasn't as bad as they said i was, but a compliment was still difficult to handle. i would begin to think that they wouldn't be saying those things if they really knew me. i was an imposter. they would find out soon enough and be gone. it happened enough times i could believe it.
finally, my husband convinced me that it wasn't me, but them. i wasn't the problem, they were. they were the ones with the misconceptions. they were the ones that beat me down day after day, year after year, word after word. whoever said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" was never a verbally abused kid. the pain from the beating with a fist always lasted less time than the carefully aimed word.
it's been a long time coming, but i'm almost there. i can value myself as a human being from the viewpoint of my husband, my children, and even my animals. i hope in time my friend will feel that value, too. she should. she truly is a beautiful human being.
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