Saturday, December 03, 2005

the boy

he's small. he's sweet. he's too smart for his own good.
he tries to act tough.
his friends in the school yard find a birds' nest.
they take it from the tree.
they smash it into bits.
they kill whatever life there was.
he yells at them.
he cries.
they laugh.
he runs.
they let him.

he gets older, but no bigger.
he is handsome. he is witty. he is charming.
he has friends.
good friends.
guy friends. girl friends.
he pretends in plays. he plays in sports. he wishes he was better in both.
he gets hurt in football.
he promised not to touch the ball.
he touched it.

he gets angry.
i look in his deep brown eyes and see the pain he hides there.
he tries to be stoic.
he tries not to cry.
my heart breaks for him.
his father has closed the door.
no reason.
no call.

he gets angrier.
he hates life.
he hates me.
he sneaks out to hang with friends.
he sneaks out to have a life.
he sneaks out to laugh.
laughter disguising the pain.

i'm helpless.
i try to tell him what has happened to me.
i see the stone mask his face becomes.
he doesn't want to know.
it doesn't concern him.
that's my problem.
he has his own.
what happened to my sweet boy?

he's gone.
he's on his own.
he's fine.
ask him, he'll tell you.
he's fine.
he's fine.
he's fine.

i look into his deep brown eyes and see the pain he hides there.
i can't touch it.
i can't move it.
i can't take it from him.
all i can do is wait...
...and tell him i love him more than he'll ever know.