strange bedfellows

i once had a boss who'd been divorced for many years and her best friend was still her ex. he was a cowboy in a city that didn't have any. he liked country and western, wore a cowboy hat, boots and a belt buckle the size of a dinner plate. his hair was long and his beard was longer. he looked like willy nelson, only lots taller.

his horse was a motorcycle. his life was building them and fixing them before it became a popular tv show. i met him through her. she thought we would be good together. i was fifteen years younger than he was. she was dating a man thirteen years younger than her. she seemed to have a strange attitude toward may-december relationships.

she seemed very conservative. he walked on the wild side. i had a hard time picturing them together. ever. he scared me with his 'business associates'. he picked no favorites when working on bikes and he was good at it. the rival gangs left him alone and he was friends with them all. i once met the biggest, deadliest gang leader in town. he was very charming. i'm glad i didn't know who he was until we'd left the bar. i'd led a very sheltered life.

as a partner he left some things to be desired. sometimes he treated me like his daughter. sometimes, a lover. sometimes a whore. i was in love. i was a baby. i wasn't sheltered very long. he even set me up to fuck the ex-wife's boyfriend. he watched. she knew. she pretended she didn't. i think she was more jealous of the ex watching than the boyfriend i was with. i never did figure her out.

he sold drugs to the bikers. i found his stache. it wasn't hard - his entire bedroom dresser was full of bags of pills. every color and shape. he wouldn't let me take any. it made me mad at the time, but i grew to be thankful. i had some later in life. i remember thinking if only...

one night he said he loved me too much to keep on going this way. i didn't know what he meant. a few days later he was gone. the shop was empty. the small apartment he lived in above the shop was locked up and dark. i didn't know any of his associates well enough to know where to even begin to look. i got the impression he didn't want to be found. the ex wouldn't tell me where he'd gone or why. she knew, i could tell. she cried.

i got on with my life.